I hate how I am completely invisible to the people around me. Just now I am sitting in the living room studying for classes books spread everywhere and someone comes in and turns the light off on me.
I hate how when I try to save people money and get mad for me not letting them and a couple minutes later I am told I cost to much money and don’t deserve anything.
I hate how I am told I don’t work hard when all I do is take care of people.
I hate the fact what I want doesn’t matter.
I hate that my mental health issues are made up to you even though a doctor treats me for it.
I hate how I don’t matter.
I hate that you make me feel stupid for having an opinion.
I hate how I am ALWAYS wrong.
I hate when I have to spend my day doing exactly what you want even though you know I have more important things going on.
I hate that I care about all of this as much as I do.
I hate how I feel obligated to ask how you are and if you need anything but you have never asked me.
I hate being used, abused and walked all over.
I hate that I always feel like I am walking on eggshells in a place I should feel at home.
I hate how I don’t live up to expectations and I am considered the “family” failure.
I hate that I feel bad for my feelings.
I hate how completely alone in this world i feel.
Most of all I hate that i have mental health issues and feeling like a bad person for it.
This week has been an emotional roller coaster and this post isn’t directed towards one person but having a mental health issue (depression, ptsd, anxiety, panic attacks) I find I am always being treated differently and getting things like this off my chest without upsetting the people I live with is extremely hard because they say I am mean for having feelings. So if you are reading this please keep in mind this is my emotional escape for a harsh reality that I live. If you are in the same situation or advice please feel free to contact me. This week is almost over and i hope everyone out there will finally get some breathing room. So…Hopefully tomorrow…The Best Is Yet To Come. #AlwaysKeepFighting