Help I have fallen and can’t get up!!!

Okay it is more like “Help I am tired and I can’t fall asleep”. I have noticed my last couple of post have been a little on the sad side, so this morning I wanted to lighten things up a bit.

First I have for you the JOKE OF THE DAY!!!!!

“Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”

– Author Unknown

Second I have some fun questions you can try to answer or ignore it is up to you!

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Why are there no ‘B’ batteries?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his iPod?
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
If you are bald, what hair color do they put on your driver’s license?
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has a right to talk?
In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather “macaroni”?
Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?
If vampires can’t see their reflections, why is their hair always so neat?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Do they have the word “dictionary” in the dictionary?
What is a picture of a thousand words worth?
Why does quicksand work slowly?
Can crop circles be square?

Well, I hope this brought you some kind of late night enjoyment!

What would you like me to write about next? Reader’s Choice!

The best is yet to come!

-Shipwrecked November

Advertisements

Robin Williams

“Harlan Wolff sums it up beautifully “The media are pushing the Robin Williams suicide story with the subtlety and tact of a runaway train. The story being purveyed is that he was sad and it addled his mind. Ordinary people are sometimes sad, not geniuses, geniuses are depressed; which is a different thing entirely. You see, a genius is born into a world that resembles a room full of television sets with all the different channels simultaneously pummeling them with information that they must then try to assimilate into an explainable philosophy. Comedic genius is possibly the worst affliction of the lot, and that’s why much of the work of the best comedians is akin to a suicide note in weekly installments. Your average working model from the genus Homo sapien becomes sad from life’s predictable tragic events. He loses his job or his dog dies, for example. Whereas a genius can be depressed by his dog’s mere presence, because knowledge in the hands of a genius results in more questions than answers. Is dog ownership moral? Should I really be eating this bacon sandwich in front of him? Shouldn’t I be taking him for longer walks? A genius is a walking question mark. Some of the self-proclaimed pundits in the press insist that depression is merely a chemical imbalance and that was what Robin Williams suffered from, and that was his eventual demise. Unfortunately they don’t know, because they are too ordinary to be depressed, so instead they are sad. Well, you all are; Robin Williams was a very memorable and remarkable man. What they overlook is that genius is already a chemical imbalance and depression the result of the mental exhaustion that accompanies it. The experts aren’t mentally exhausted and therefore believe they are lucid and can explain everything. It’s rather like listening to somebody tell you that they know two-hundred ways to make love, even though everybody knows they don’t have a girlfriend. A little digging into history shows us that the greatest gifts our cultures have ever received came from our most tortured souls. Beethoven was a handful, to say the least. Immanuel Kant refused to come out and play with the other children and chose a life of isolation instead. Lord Byron was addicted to excess in all things and chose to live in exile. Sigmund Freud chain-smoked, fretted about his mother, and took copious quantities of cocaine. Charles Dickens was an obsessive compulsive. Albert Einstein would go bird watching with a violin and play it alone in the woods with tears streaming down his face; he did a few drugs mind you, as his autopsy revealed. Michelangelo was extremely melancholy and solitary, rejecting creature comforts and instead choosing to live an unpleasant and squalid life. Clearly a genius’s lot is not a happy one. So let’s not listen to the rabid media for a change and just be grateful for the gifts we have received from our geniuses. Robin Williams was certainly a genius and analysing the chaos inside his mind is way above your pay-grade. He was cleverer than you, and there was simply a lot more going on in his head. Such hyperactivity wears out flesh and blood and brings chronic fatigue. Robin Williams was tired, and different from you, and now he doesn’t live here anymore. You are all entitled to feel sad about that.”

1-800-273-8255 United States Suicide Hotline
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
For International Suicide Hotline Numbers

Vacation and Goodbyes

I am so glad that I have had the opportunity to spend the summer with my family. I still have two weeks left of traveling but it saddens me that in a week I say goodbye to my brother and head to see my other brother and grandfather.  See, when I leave it is not like I can come back and see him again at least not for a year. He is a Marine and is deploying (again). These goodbyes scare me! The unknown of what he will go through is terrifies me to no end. A year of worries and hope that he will return. He is my best friend, and I love him with all of my heart!!! I am so proud that he is willing to give up his life to protect the our country! I know I couldn’t do it, I am honored to say he is my brother! Nothing is thicker than blood! Where ever you may be lil/big brother we are family and I will be waiting for you to return! I love you always and forever!!!

As always I am Shipwrecked November and the best is yet to come!

-Shipwrecked November

Do you ever just wake up and think…

Do you ever just wake up and think this thing we call life seems a little pointless?
I suppose it is one of those mornings that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and contemplating things like life’s meaning is a bad idea. I want more than this every day wake up, brush teeth, eat breakfast, go to work, spend 5 to 10 hours working my butt of with nothing to show in the end, go home, eat dinner, go to bed and wake up the next day and do it all over again. I want more from life! I want to travel and my home be where ever I lay my head that night. I want to meet people and change lives. I want to save a world that seems to be falling to pieces as we speak. I want more.

I know how selfish I sound but some days you just have to take a step back and look at the world in a whole new light. I am so tired of normal. Normal is boring, normal is slowly become a whole that I may not be able to climb my self out of. I wish life was a movie! The excitement of a chase scene! I want an adventure! A thrill! Why can’t life be more than just a routine of boring have too’s? Why not want too’s?

Life is an impossible set back to over come. People say living is the best thing you will ever do, some days I think it is the most pointless thing I will ever do.

So, I have realized barley any sleep and waking up on the wrong side of the bed create a depressing post. Woo, ain’t I just full of joy today.
If you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today comment with your complaints about your life or what ails you!

Well as always readers I am Shipwrecked November
And the best is yet to come 🙂

-Shipwrecked November

Why am I angry at God?

Imagine waking up every morning trapped in a room with four walls and no doors or windows. Imagine screaming for help and begging to be let out and no one ever comes. NO ONE EVER COMES! 

Just think about that no one ever comes….

That is what it is like inside of my mind. 

I can’t remember a day that I haven’t cried myself to sleep in the last 5 years. I can’t remember a night with out a nightmare. I can’t remember being happy. I can pretend, oh I make the best actress. My life is one movie roll after the next. I live a constant lie of happiness. Actually I don’t live, I am a walking zombie of pent up anger. Why am I angry? Who do I blame? Who am I angry at?

If I told you, you wouldn’t understand. How could I hate the most pure entity there is? How could I be such a horrible person that I would hate God?

I didn’t always feel this way. Five years ago I was a happy child/teenager. I had my life going for me. I was headed to my second year of college and I was ready to live a life of excitement. I was only 19 and naive. I didn’t know my entire life was about to be ripped to shredders, I didn’t know I was going to lose the most important person in my life.

My dearest mother was diagnosed with melanoma (skin cancer) and for a year she would suffer. She fought and she was strong and brave. She put up the best fight she could but in the end the cancer took her and for a year I watched as my mother died little by little, until the day I watched her take her last painful breath. There was nothing I could do, I couldn’t make the cancer go away but I prayed every day. I asked God not to take her away from me. I needed her and my brothers needed her. I prayed for a year, night and day as I sat by her side. I prayed every second of every day. Yet in the end not a single pray was answered. Deceit how hard the doctors worked and how many prayers were said, it didn’t even matter how hard she fought in the end she was gone. My beautiful Mother was no longer here. 

I was/am wrecked, My heart tore in two. I have never been the same. Every morning I wake up with a heavy heart and every night I cry myself to sleep. I can’t handle life, and I lost the little faith I had left. In four years, I have lost more than just my mom, I am losing my brothers. My family is falling apart. My dad has been sick to the point of dying. And I have several mental disorders. Knowing all of that bare in mind every night I still ask God to show that he is real, to tell me why he took my mom. I have asked so many questions and no ever answers. It has been a long time since I have stopped believing in you, yet I still ask for proof. None is ever given. 

Four years almost since my mom has passed, I now have melanoma cancer. I still pray, but praying is like waking up every morning trapped in a room with four walls and no doors or windows. Imagine screaming for help and begging to be let out and no one ever comes. NO ONE EVER COMES! Just think of that for a minute…NO ONE EVER COMES! 

As always I am Shipwrecked November!

And the best is yet to come. 🙂 

 

A Moment Too Late

Have you ever been walking down the street or riding the bus and you run in to a perfect stranger? And in that moment this person seems like the most beautiful person in the world and in an instant you would change your path of life for that person. Would you become everything they wanted? Could you stop this lonely path you are on and let this unknown person in to your life? No, of course not! How stupid would you have to be to just chase after a stranger?

But laying here tonight I wish I could turn back time and have the guts to have a longer conversation. To make an impression. To have some guts. I will never have that chance again. Even though I know your name, It doesn’t matter you are gone. I want to chase you! I want you to want me! In a moment you have changed my entire life, I will be looking for you. I will always be searching.  It only took a second to realize that I made a mistake by saying good bye.

It is amazing how one person that you don’t even know can have such a hold. Hi, I am the girl you have been looking for your entire life but I was to scared. I am not attractive so why would you remember our encounter, I am to big to be notice by such a beautiful man. Thank you for smiling and pretending that I didn’t gross you out.

Thank you for that moment! Thank you for a second of feeling special! Now only if you could find the foot in my mouth and take it out. If I could go back and change time, I say I would do what I have always been scared to do. But truth is you will always pass me by cause I have no confidence and you are a prefect stranger.

A Moment Too Late. Goodbye. Never Hello.

The best is yet to come!

-Shipwrecked November 

 

Lonely Much?…*sigh*…YES! (please read all the way through)

I have been feeling so lonely lately. Yet, I am surrounded by people. People are every where. So why am I feeling this way? I am sure there is a medical term for this feeling such as; Depression? It may surprise you that I do have that and a couple of there disorders: PTSD, Anxiety (anxiety attacks), Panic attacks, Insomnia, Asthma, PCOS. I am thinking to my self right now and Man I have a lot of crap wrong with me! No wonder I feel so alone!

It’s no secret I have some issues. I don’t hide it. I just don’t talk about it. I feel like if i go around talking and telling people they will look at me differently, but if you ask me about it I will not lie! I have been through a lot of things in a short period of time and my body went into shock and when I finally came back to reality I was left with a very unappealing list of disorders. 

When I set up at night and my mind wonders to the far spaces of the galaxy I begin to realize some parts of me are still in shock. I lost pieces of my mind, body and soul that I don’t think I will ever get back. I search for the person I once was. The past has swallowed her alive. She died three almost four years ago and the girl stuck in this body is a complete stranger. I don’t recognize you any more. I want the real me back not this impostor. I used to be happy. I used to believe in fairy tales and happy endings. I used to be this person that everyone depended on and I loved it. I loved running around and going here and there and doing this and that. Now you have to beg me to come visit. Some days it’s an emotional fight with my self to get out of bed. I am trying so hard to be who I once was, the girl my parents were proud of. The girl everyone wanted to be. The girl that would rather die than see someone else in pain.

I wish people understood me! I wish I had that person I could talk too! I wish I could rewind time and change the past and make what happened turn out differently! I wish I was living and not a zombie in my own body! I wish I could take away my family’s pain. I wish I wasn’t so alone!

It’s amazing how one moment in your life changes who you are inside. Every waking day feels like a chore. I cry when no one is around. I pretend I am okay, although it is becoming harder and harder to pretend. My veil is becoming so old it is crumbling and soon the people in my life will see how miserable I have been. I am not ready for this. I am not ready for them to know. What if they can’t handle it? What if I can’t handle it? I am scared that they will treat me differently. I am scared they will hate me. I know they want the person I was back and I don’t know where she is. I keep hoping one day I will wake up and there I will be and it would be the most happiest of days. I would never have to worry about these feelings again and then I could bury this person away for ever and keep her under lock and key and she could never escape the cold dark place she belongs.

It is so lonely in my head! My thoughts hurt! My body hurts and I am so tired! I try to convince myself to tell the world how I feel and I would be so alone If I open up and talk. I want to walk in a room and not constantly through the night tell myself, “Don’t cry! Smile! Keep Smiling! Don’t stop! An hour down only two to go!” Help I don’t want to be alone anymore! Can anyone out there hear me? I suppose not… I am Shipwrecked November and I suffer from PTSD and Clinical Depression!

Hey readers! If you feel or have ever felt this way or are/have suffered from Depression, PTSD, Anxiety or any other similar disorder PLEASE contact me if you ever need advice or someone to talk to about what is going on in your head or life at the time, I know it can be hard opening up to the people closest to you. I won’t judge you, or telling what you are feeling is wrong. I will listen and be there when you need me, even if you just want to sit in silence. I want you to feel comfortable contacting me! I will email you, facebook you or do whatever you feel the most comfortable with. 

If you are having thoughts about hurting yourself please don’t! You are important and beautiful! I have been there and the end result is never going to relieve the pain, it only makes more painful memories. Remember problems are not stop signs, They are yield signs telling you to breath, regroup and continue when you are ready. You must burn the pain and use it as fuel for your journey! 

 “As we strive to make it through difficult times, hearing the wisdom of those who have struggled, questioned and dreamed before us can make the journey easier.  When you feel the struggle is wearing you down, I’ll be here to listen”  

Fall. Seven. Times. And. Stand. Up. Eight. 

Because The Best Is Yet To Come!

-Shipwrecked November 

So many siblings…

I love my family, don’t get me wrong but some times my siblings become to much to handle. Right now my 12 year old brother is on a search for a baseball bat that I have hidden in my room. I had to stick it in my robe hanging from my bathroom door. I am annoyed by this, he just won’t go away. I have five sisters and four brothers. Being that I am the fourth oldest they all come to me for everything. The oldest ones I guess don’t understand them, so running to me became easy.

I love my siblings with all of my heart and I honestly don’t think they understand how much I truly love them. It is so unconditional it’s ridiculous. Although sometimes I just want some space!!!!!! But if I send them crazy kids away, I want them to come back cause I miss them. We have been a family for 15 years and I can’t believe it has been that long, it seems like forever some days and other days no time at all.

If you are wondering why I said 15 years, it is because we are not all from the same parents. Step-siblings is what we are. I don’t think of them as step, except the best steps of my life have been with them. The things we have been through have been on the line of heart breaking and life changing. Some how us kids have gotten through it. I can’t see my life without them in it. As much as we fight and scream and yell and torment each other I would like to believe that we do it because we love each other.

Mornings are always loud and nights are even louder. They are none stop all day long. If you watch shows like 19 and counting I would like to know how they get their kids so quite and well behaved because I swear our house is more like cheaper by the dozen. We have holes in the wall from random events, like taking sleds down a flight of stairs and hitting the wall. Not a single one of us is not off the wall goofy. I love it to be honest. No day is the same and I can never say it gets boring. With a none stop life and none stop love you can’t really go wrong. Even when I just want my space, I wouldn’t mind if all of them came pilling in to my bed, it’s moments like that I live for.

So many siblings and the best is yet to come!

-Shipwrecked November

Cold Showers….

Apparently cold showers aren’t for relieving sexually tension anymore…haha. Okay, seriously, I have been reading about how cold showers can have some really healthy benefits. Personally I hate cold showers, I am more of a more hot the more better kind of person. But here are some of the good things that a cold shower can help.

 

 

1. Strengthens Immunity

Cold showers are sometimes touted as a preventative tonic for colds, flu, and infections. An experiment in Prague studied the effect of cold water immersions on athletic young men. They immersed themselves in water at 14°C (57°F), three times a week for six weeks. Among many changes, they saw increased levels of two types of white blood cells: monocytes and lymphocytes. While certain lymphocytes are instrumental in eliminating bacteria, viruses, and toxins; monocytes are indirectly responsible for the engulfing and consuming of pathogens and foreign materials. Researchers believe that the increased metabolic rate, which results from the body’s attempt to warm itself up, activates the immune system and releases more white blood cells in response. Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that people who take regular cold showers are less likely to develop colds, flu’s, and even some forms of cancer.

2. Improves Blood Circulation

Good blood circulation is vital for overall cardiovascular health. Alternating between hot and cold water while showering, is an easy way to improve circulation. When exposed to cold water, our arteries and veins constrict or tighten. This process is called “vasoconstriction”. The tightening helps blood to flow at a higher pressure as now there is less space for the blood to flow, meaning circulation will improve. “Vasodilation”, the opposite effect, and is done when we are exposed to heat. The natural tendency of the body when it is exposed to cold is that your blood rapidly circulates to your vital organs to keep them warm, hence increasing your overall blood circulation. Why should you be conscious of having good circulation? Well, it prevents such problems as hypertension, hardening of the arteries, and the appearance of varicose veins. Good circulation improves the performance of your system and thus help looking and feeling better.

3. Regulates Temperature

Cold showers provide a gentle form of stress that leads to thermogenesis (internal generation of body heat), which in turn activates the body’s adaptive repair systems. If you suffer from chronically cold hands and feet, or feel that you sweat an abnormal amount, try a cold shower.

4. Promotes Weight Loss / Increases Metabolism

Brown fat, as opposed to white fat is heavily involved in burning energy. Exposure to cold naturally stimulates the production of these brown fats. These cells burn glucose to try and produce as much heat energy as possible. Having a higher amount of brown fat leads to more energy being burned per second and therefore, more weight is lost. As a result of the increased brown fat levels, and the increased blood pressure and body temperature, chemical reactions in the body will happen faster than they would have without regular cold showers. An increased metabolism is what a lot of people seek for because it means that any process in the body will become more efficient; meaning more weight loss will be seen and more growth/repair of muscles and otherwise will be seen.

5. Alleviates Depression

Depression is yet another thing that cold showers can help and prevent. Research at the Department of Radiation Oncology at Virginia Commonwealth University indicates that cold water has a stimulating effect on the brains “blue spot”, the main source of noradrenaline for our bodies. Noradrenaline is a chemical that might be used to help alleviate depression.

6. Improves Lymphatic Movement

The lymphatic system is a system of tubing separate from our blood vessels that is responsible for carrying away waste from your cells as well as help fight pathogens (disease). Unlike blood vessels, the lymphatic system does not have blood, it has lymph, which carries away waste products and white blood cells which handle infection. Also different from blood vessels is that the heart does not pump lymph around the body like it does the blood. The lymph relies on the contraction of muscles. This contraction squeezes the lymph up to the thoracic duct so that the lymph can mix with the blood and then be dealt with by organs. Cold showers cause whole-body contraction and this works excellently with the lymph system, squeezing the fluid up through the body. If the lymphatic system is compromised and not efficient, then the fluid pools at faraway places (usually the feet). This results in what is known as lymphedema (a type of edema).

7. Deepens Breathing

What you will notice as an effect of cold showers is that you begin inhaling very deeply. This is to try and combat the stress of the shock, the vasoconstriction and the overall need for oxygen to respire and keep oneself warm. This process opens up the lungs much like strenuous physical exercise does and results in a higher average intake of oxygen, which is good for many things like not feeling tired during the day and doing better at sport or other exercises.

8. Keeps Skin and Hair Healthy

It is well known that hot water dries out our skin and hair. On the other hand, cold water can make our hair look shinier and our skin look healthier by tightening cuticles and pores, preventing them from getting clogged, thus reducing blemishes like acne. Cold water also contributes to detoxification which results in the squeezing of toxins and waste products out of the skin. This detoxification has a good effect on the skin which appears more clean and young. Additionally, the cold water closes the cuticle which makes the hair stronger and prevents dirt from easily accumulating within our scalp. Stronger hair, of course, prevents hair from easily falling out and it helps in slowing down overall hair loss.

9. Increases Energy and Wellbeing

There are plenty of mental benefits to ending your shower with cold water. The ancient samurai warriors used to pour buckets of cold river water on their heads every morning in a Shinto practice called Misogi. This was a purification ritual on a spiritual level. They believe that it cleansed their spirit and helped start a fresh new day. A cold shower can definitely leave one feeling invigorated and energized. The heart starts pumping, and the rush of blood through the body helps shake off the lethargy of the previous night’s sleep. Additionally, while there are not many studies to confirm, many people swear that cold showers are a definite stress reducer.

10. Increases Hormone Production

Cold water showers have the ability to increase hormone production and activity by giving the body’s glands a boost. For example, cold showers can be of great benefit to the reproductive system when trying to conceive a child. A man’s testes are not meant to get too hot; that’s why they hang outside of a man’s body. Sperm counts decrease when the temperature of a man’s testes increases. In fact, experiments done in the 1950s showed that hot baths were an effective contraceptive. Men who took a 30 minute hot bath every other day for 3 weeks were infertile for the next six months. More recently, the University of California at San Francisco did a study with men who were exposed to 30 minutes of “wet heat” (hot baths, saunas and such) a week. When the men cut this exposure out, their sperm count went up by 491%, and their sperm’s motility improved as well. While switching from a hot to cold shower may not have as dramatic an effect, if you’re trying to reproduce, it surely won’t hurt. Furthermore, it has been said that cold water therapy helps regulate the endocrine system (including the adrenals and thyroid).

How to Start

Gradually adjusting from hot to cold showers is recommended. For many, a drastic change in temperature would be too much a stress to their body. Push yourself to step outside your comfort zone, while at the same time listen to what your body can handle. A great way to implement cold showers into your daily routine is by turning the water to cold for the last 30 seconds to a minute of your shower. Give it a try and see what benefits you experience. Who knows, maybe the secret to the fountain of youth is hidden within cold shower.

 

Well…I am still not sure that I will enjoy a cold shower more than a hot one but after all those facts then maybe it is worth a try???

Would you try it? If you do, let me know if it helps at all.

 

-Shipwrecked November

I know we are not the same.

Hello Readers,

Well, as you can see this is my first post. I have never written a blog before and I am glad that you are sharing this journey with me. 

I know we are not the same, that is why I want to cover every topic, every thought that pops in to my head and yours. I want you to send me your thoughts, things you want to read about. Don’t be afraid to tell me, I won’t tell you that you are stupid or that it doesn’t matter. So lay it on me. What do you want to read about?

 

 

I know we are not the same. That is such a powerful sentence. It hits home with me. I have been struggling with this my entire life, always wanting to be someone else. Wishing I was the same so i wouldn’t get picked on. Wishing that I was as small at that girl over there, or comparing my self to the girls in magazines. It took me years before I could look at my self in the mirror, and some days it is still hard too. Why is it that women and men have to worry about how they feel about them selves, when there is so many other problems going on in the world? 

 

I know we are not the same. So be unique, be who you are!

Don’t let people tell you any different! You are beautiful not matter your shape, size, color, or gender. Be proud! Be free! Be you!

The best is yet to come!

-Shipwrecked November