Loser Face

That is what I will call him. He kind of crept in to my heart and I don’t know what too do. I swore up and down, time and time again that I in no way was interested in him. It was true, I wasn’t at all what I thought about until now. He has been through some tough times with life and relationships and I know how hard he has worked to change his life around. But knowing his history makes it hard to know where to go from here. He is one of those people that go from relationship to relationship without time in between and I don’t want to be just another person on his list. So trusty readers out there in cyber space, what is your advice???

The best is yet to come!!!!

~Shipwrecked November

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I hate…

I hate how I am completely invisible to the people around me. Just now I am sitting in the living room studying for classes books spread everywhere and someone comes in and turns the light off on me.
I hate how when I try to save people money and get mad for me not letting them and a couple minutes later I am told I cost to much money and don’t deserve anything.
I hate how I am told I don’t work hard when all I do is take care of people.
I hate the fact what I want doesn’t matter.
I hate that my mental health issues are made up to you even though a doctor treats me for it.
I hate how I don’t matter.
I hate that you make me feel stupid for having an opinion.
I hate how I am ALWAYS wrong.
I hate when I have to spend my day doing exactly what you want even though you know I have more important things going on.
I hate that I care about all of this as much as I do.
I hate how I feel obligated to ask how you are and if you need anything but you have never asked me.
I hate being used, abused and walked all over.
I hate that I always feel like I am walking on eggshells in a place I should feel at home.
I hate how I don’t live up to expectations and I am considered the “family” failure.
I hate that I feel bad for my feelings.
I hate how completely alone in this world i feel.
Most of all I hate that i have mental health issues and feeling like a bad person for it.

Hey Readers,
This week has been an emotional roller coaster and this post isn’t directed towards one person but having a mental health issue (depression, ptsd, anxiety, panic attacks) I find I am always being treated differently and getting things like this off my chest without upsetting the people I live with is extremely hard because they say I am mean for having feelings. So if you are reading this please keep in mind this is my emotional escape for a harsh reality that I live. If you are in the same situation or advice please feel free to contact me. This week is almost over and i hope everyone out there will finally get some breathing room. So…Hopefully tomorrow…The Best Is Yet To Come. #AlwaysKeepFighting
-Shipwrecked November